Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Right to Write

I'm on Facebook. A lot. I update my status. A lot. I share articles, pages and things that make you go "hmmmm." A lot. I'm one of those people. If I haven't posted something for a day then people assume I've been sucked into a vortex. I can't help it, I like to talk. I have a lot of opinions. There is a lot to be shared. I've found so many old friends there and have made quite a few new ones whom I love dearly. Most of them post daily or every other day. I respond and the cycle of Facebook life continues.

And there is someone who always hates it and has something to say about it.

I can count on reading some variation of the following a few times a month:

"I can't stand people who update their status all the time. No one wants to hear about your (insert commonly talked about subject here). Get a life!"

Ok, that person has every right to write that. I'm not going to tell them what they can and can't post. Why do they think they need to dictate what others write? Now, I read very fast and I write very fast. For the amount of content I post, I'm actually online for a very little amount of time during the day. I have quite a life offline. *shrugs* It seems simple - just ignore what you don't like. Yet, people are always complaining about what other people do with their own Facebook pages. Apparently, "people" don't want to hear about your vagina, kids, job, late night food cravings, bathroom habits, the bagel you just ate, your dog, your cat, your dog's cat, your hair, your car, school, the top 15 reasons that Edward trumps Jacob (cuz he sparkles, duh) and so on and so forth. They don't want you to share articles that you feel are informative. They don't want you to share pages that interest you and may interest or help others. And, of course, they don't want you to share pictures of grammatically-challenged felines asking for beef patties. So, they'll inform you that they dislike your status updates. They'll yell at you for offending them, as if you write only for these people. As if your sole purpose is to offend.

I tend to write a lot about pregnancy, birth, fertility, miscarriages, breastfeeding, babies, circumcision and the like. I have some liberal political views and some conservative views. I love God, but I have a lot of different opinions about religion. Add in a dash of kid stories, a pinch of damn husband rants and just a touch of bitching about cats and I'm sure to offend at least one person once a day. Sometimes I care, sometimes I don't. It depends on the nature of the "offense."

But here's the thing - I won't censor myself. Not for anyone. Why? Because what some consider dumb, offensive or way too personal status updates/article shares have actually helped people. I have had numerous friends privately message or publicly announce that something I posted made them think or helped them out in some way. I've posted about my miscarriage more times than I can count and many have come to me to THANK me - either for helping them understand what grieving parents go through or for helping them give voice to a pain they've kept hidden for years. I've been someone they've opened up with about losses they had over a decade about - losses that they were too sad, afraid or ashamed to talk about until they read what I wrote. I can't tell you how many people have come to me for advice with every single part of their fertility cycles. I have taught women how to be aware of their bodily changes through their cycles. I've taught them how to chart. I've taught them fertility awareness both to get pregnant and to avoid getting pregnant. I've encouraged women to research things for themselves so that they feel confident in their choices. They may not always make a decision I agree with, but at least I helped empower them to find information. I've saved babies from circumcision and from improper car seat use. Oh my, the car seat thing. That's a big issue and it's something that I've changed a lot of minds about. A lot of parents simply were not aware of the recommendations to rear-face for longer than 1 year. Because of my status updates and my "ranting" they were made aware. Breastfeeding is another hot topic. There are currently many babes who have been breastfed or are continuing to breastfeed because of my support. And people are constantly coming to me almost daily for some sort of herbal, homeopathic, natural or home remedy for a variety of ailments. People who publicly shun my words will privately ask me for more information or help.

A little bit of ego there? Maybe. But, I don't have much self esteem and when I find that I've been useful to people it makes me happy. It reminds me that I don't suck as much as I thought.

So, if you hate that I post about my Diva Cup (I've converted many to menstrul cups, btw), menstrual cycles and my vagina you'll either have to delete me, hide me or just learn to ignore it. It's not that hard - Facebook gives you a variety of options for hiding content that you don't enjoy. But I'm not going to stop disseminating information that you deem offense simply because I know I might just help a person or two.

So there.


Kimberly O. said...

This is totally me. I am constantly updating my page with pictures, articles, stati (yea?), etc, etc, etc....

Shortly after my second daughter was born, after an abundance of posted pictures (my family and in-laws all live far away!!) a "friend" of mine made a status about how they should make a facebook specifically for the "breeders" so non-breeders don't have to look at it.

I, nicely I may add, commented saying that he had options...delete said people, ignore their posts, or deal with it. He promptly deleted me from his friends list.

sorry ta see ya go buddy...don't let the door hit your ass. Or do. I'll laugh. :D

Funky Little Earthchild said...

That's incredibly rude. He obviously wasn't much of a friend in the first place. People - sheesh!

Tam F. said...

ive been struggling with the same thing, after i had a miscarriage 8 weeks ago. thank you for writeing. feel free to check out my blog if you like.

Funky Little Earthchild said...

I am sorry for your loss, Tam. :-(
I will definitely check out your blog.

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